it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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