Whats the glycemic index on semen?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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