Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
