Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
