508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
