Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
