He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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