i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
should my penis look like a turkey
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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