My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize