I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
