he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
This couple is walking their pig around campus
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
