I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
