I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
