not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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