What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
