Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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