I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
