thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
