then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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