she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
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