so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
