i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
