I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
