i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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