WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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