i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
