mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
