dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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