Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
