What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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