You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
