You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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