Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
