strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize