Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
from now on my penis is your penis
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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