He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
