ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
