gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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