i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
