Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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