I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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