apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
