You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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