How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
