god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
