all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Randomize
