after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize