I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
