Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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