And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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