We got so high we made milksteak
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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