So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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