Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
