Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
FUCK WHALES
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize