Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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