the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I faked an abortion last night.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
two words...techno handjob
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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