she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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