We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
