Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
