I'm gonna have a badass scar
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
