Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
