if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
