The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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