Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
