I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize