butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
