you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
