worst night to have a conscience
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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