the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Randomize
